Share The Love An Ambitious Way To Speak And Listen With Compassion

The Speaker Listener Technique was a part of my PREP (Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program) training when I worked in welfare reform. This technique has specific guidelines for the speaker and listener to assist in each role being shared with compassion. This technique can create a safe space to 

  • Promote transparency and growth
  • Strengthen bonds
  • Easy to accept accountability
  • And it can work in any relationship!

You can purchase a cell phone wallpaper image here. I think its a good idea to pull the image up on your cell while having discussions that matter. It can guide your conversation and strengthen bonds.   

The Speaker Listener Technique

Rules for the Speaker: 

  1. 1.Speak for yourself. Don't read your partner's mind. Express your feelings and thoughts, using "I" statements to express your point of view. 
  2. Be brief. Don't go on and on each time. You will have plenty of time to talk about everything that is on your mind as you both take turns.
  3. Stop and let the listener paraphrase. After you've spoken for a short while, let your partner paraphrase what you just said. Help them understand your point of view. If the paraphrase is not quite accurate, politely restate what you're meant. 

Rules for the Listener: 

  1. Paraphrase what you heard. Repeat back what you heard in your own words to let your partner know you understand what they are saying. Wait till your turn as speaker to ask more questions.
  2. Focus on the speaker's message. Don't rebut. Remember: your job is to listen with compassion and understand what they are saying. Wait till you are a speaker to offer your own opinion. Your opinion should be without judgment and full of compassion.

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